Nasir’s 7th Birthday: A Rainbow Friends Party of Growth

Nasir’s 7th birthday was monumental, not just because it marked another year of his incredible growth but because, for the first time, he actively participated in planning his Rainbow Friends Party. It was the perfect opportunity to include him in a project because it was for him, about him, and something he was excited for. This meant he would pay attention and want to have a say! Seeing him take ownership of his party decisions made the day even more special and showcased just how far he has come in his developmental journey.

Empowering Nasir Through Choice

One of the most heartwarming moments was watching Nasir confidently make decisions for his Rainbow Friends party. From the theme to the food, every choice reflected his unique personality. Including him in the process wasn’t just about reducing my own planning stress; it was a way to support his communication skills, boost his confidence, and celebrate his individuality.

The Theme: Rainbow Friends

When I asked Nasir what theme he wanted for his party, there was no hesitation. “Rainbow Friends,” he said with absolute certainty. I challenged him a few times over the weeks leading up to the party to see if he’d change his mind, but his answer remained the same: “No, I want Rainbow Friends, please.” The clarity and decisiveness in his responses were music to my ears.

This moment reminded to use some of the strategies we learned from our first Speech and Language Therapist, giving Nasir more opportunities to make choices as part of his language development. Her advice stuck with me, and I’ve made it a point to encourage his input in everyday decisions. The progress we’ve seen, like his clear communication about wanting a Rainbow Friends party, has been incredible to witness.

Nasir’s Progress and the Speech-Language Therapist’s Role

This party wasn’t just a celebration of Nasir turning seven, it was a celebration of his incredible progress over the past year. Speaking of support, the Speech and Language Therapist Nasir has worked with at school recently shared some encouraging insights:

Nasir has come a long way with his communication. Recently, I have observed him communicating with other children and adults for a variety of purposes including: to make a request, answer a question, ask a question, make a comment, respond to a comment, make a choice.

ministry of education speech and language therapist

She even noted that he might no longer need ongoing therapy, though she encouraged us to share more about his communication at home. It’s such a proud moment as a parent to hear this, knowing how far he’s come. Nasir is still working hard on his language, but boy, oh boy, he is a frickin’ superstar!

We’ve requested a detailed report from her, which we can share with the medical and education teams working with him. It’s not just about acknowledging his growth; it’s about equipping him for what’s next. We’ve also asked for strategies to continue supporting him in his journey.

This progress is why involving Nasir in planning his Rainbow Friends party felt so significant, it wasn’t just about throwing a party. It was about giving him a platform to use his voice, make choices, and feel empowered. Every little moment of input, from selecting the theme to choosing friends and activities, was an opportunity for growth.

Developmental Benefits of Involving Children in Planning

By involving Nasir in the decision-making process, we supported his growth in many areas:

1. Enhanced Communication Skills
   Allowing Nasir to make choices, like selecting the party theme and food, provided opportunities to practice verbalising preferences. Research in Topics in Early Childhood Special Education¹ shows that choice-making significantly increases engagement and language production in children with developmental delays.
2. Improved Cognitive Skills
   Decision-making engages problem-solving and critical thinking. When Nasir pivoted from the pool to Awesome Bounce, he demonstrated his ability to evaluate and prioritise options, aligning with findings from the Journal of Child Development².
3. Boosted Social and Emotional Skills
   Creating the guest list and selecting personalised party favors fostered a sense of independence and empathy. According to The Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders³, these actions enhance communication and reduce social withdrawal in children with developmental delays.
4. Increased Sensory Regulation
   Choosing the venue gave Nasir a sense of control, which prepared him for the sensory stimuli he might encounter, reducing anxiety and helping him enjoy the day.

The Guest List

Nasir surprised me again when I asked who he wanted to invite. For years, it was hard to get a clear answer, but this time, he named his four best friends: two from daycare and two from school. His ability to recall names and articulate his choices highlighted his growing social connections, which felt like a huge milestone.

The theme of course was Rainbow Friends but which invitation did he like better? I relished in observing Nasir analysing which invitation he wanted. Often, he would ask to see each one again, ensuring he was making the right choice. The Party Bag matched to the invitation to keep to the theme he has chosen. When the location and time had been confirmed, I filled out the invitations with his friend’s names which he got to give out at school and deliver them to his friends’ houses. We delivered one to a letterbox after school one day and when we told him which friend we were taking the invitation to, he remembered the general area where his friend lived. He’d been there once before. He is proving he has an incredible memory, such a champ!

The Venue: A Joint Decision

To ensure Nasir felt comfortable, I presented him with three venue options: an outdoor pool and two local playlands. He initially chose the pool, but as the weather forecast became unpredictable, we pivoted. When I asked him to rechoose, he enthusiastically picked Awesome Bounce, a playland he loves for its energy-burning jumpalines and expansive layout.

Party Food Snackie Snacks

We sat down together to decide on the menu and party favours. Nasir’s favourites were non-negotiable.

• Popcorn
• Chippies
• Chicken Nuggets
• Cheesy Pizza

And for the adults:

• Chicken/Lamb Kebabs
• Meat Pasties (To honour Nasirs beloved Grandma who unfortunately passed away 3 years ago around his birthday. She would have made and brought these to share as she did at his 3rd birthday)

Rainbow Friends Party Bags

For the party bags, I asked for his input on which items suited his friends best, and he thoughtfully assigned toys and treats based on their personalities. His attention to detail in this process amazed me. I remember asking about which friend each Inside Out 2 character should go to, I would prompt his certainty about the character for the friend and he would say “No, no, what about ___” or simply “Yes, (character) for (friends name)”. In the chaos of the day, I’m not sure each child got the one that was meant for them but it’s the thought that counts right? In the bags were:

• Rainbow Friends stickers
• Rainbow Friends slap bracelet
• Poppy Playtime stickers
• Poppy Playtime temporary tattoos
• Smiling Critters Straw
• Smiling Critters balloon
• Inside Out 2 keyring
• Digital Circus paper mask
• M&M’s

I try to make sure the toys or favours aren’t something parents will end up throwing away due to items being easily breakable or just super annoying. It’s not always cost effective or practical but it’s important to me to have the bags reflect who my children are or their current interests. It’s a fun process to involve the kids in, seeing them excited about certain items tells me I’m on the right track.

A lot of Nasir’s current interests are not readily available in New Zealand which means I had to turn to Ali Express to get, well, all of it! If you were to search from local party retailers, a Rainbow Friends party is Unicorns and Rainbows which is not the party vibe, thought he does love both. The Rainbow Friends party bags were a hit and I really enjoy seeing the joy the kids get from it.

The Day of the Rainbow Friends Party

On the big day, Nasir was all smiles. He bounced, played, and laughed with his friends and was super excited for his Rainbow Friends-themed cake. He wasn’t just a guest at his own party; he was the host, greeting his friends and making sure they had fun.

Tips for Including Your Child in Party Decisions

I would encourage parents to involve their children in the party planning as much as they can regardless of whether a child is high needs or typical. Empowering children to make decisions, take control, and feel their ideas are important, who knows where it could lead a child! If you’re struggling, start here:

1. Offer Choices: Present 2–3 options for each decision, from theme to venue, to avoid overwhelming them.
2. Start Early: Begin planning with your child weeks in advance to allow time for them to process and communicate their preferences.
3. Use Visuals: Show pictures or videos of venues, cakes, and decorations to help them visualise their options.
4. Celebrate Small Wins: Every choice your child makes is a step towards independence—celebrate it!
5. Stay Flexible: If plans need to change, involve your child in the pivot to maintain their sense of ownership.

Relinquish control and make it a joint project. The amount of stress it takes off a parent is amazing! Do it, control freaks!

Nasir’s Rainbow Friends Party wasn’t just a celebration of his birthday; it was a testament to his progress and a reminder of the power of inclusion. Watching him take charge of his special day filled my heart with pride and hope for what’s yet to come.

Happy Birthday, Nasir!

Love,
Elysha

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Reference.

1. Topics in Early Childhood Special Education
   Kohler, Frank W.; Anthony, Leslie J.; Steighner, Stacie A.; and Hoyson, Marilyn, “Teaching Social Interaction Skills In The Integrated Preschool: An Examination Of Naturalistic Tactics” (2001). Faculty Publications. 3567. ↩︎
2. Journal of Child Development
   Zelazo, P. D., & Carlson, S. M. (2012). Hot and cool executive function in childhood development. Child Development Perspectives, 6(4), 354–360. ↩︎
3. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders
   Koegel LK, Vernon T, Koegel RL, Koegel BL, Paullin AW. Improving Social Engagement and Initiations between Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder and Their Peers in Inclusive Settings. J Posit Behav Interv. 2012 Oct;14(4):220-227. doi: 10.1177/1098300712437042. PMID: 25328380; PMCID: PMC4199304. ↩︎